How To Get the Fire Burning In Your Relationship Again

If we don’t take deliberate action, our lives usually evolve into predictable routines. While predictability is good for stability, it is not good for ensuring that the spark in your relationship keeps glowing. 
If you are currently feeling strains in your relationship, you need to shake things up as fast as possible. Here are some ways to go about it.

Make Surprise the New Normal

Surprising your partner isn’t as hard as you think. People appreciate the small things in life as long as they know that they are coming from a place of love. Your partner knowing that you were thinking of them during the day can totally change the mood of your whole relationship.
Surprises can take the form of flirtatious texts, flowers, dinner, tickets to an event, a cool dress or tie, or anything that communicates to your partner that you love and care for them.

Learn How to Manage Stress

Almost everyone feels some form of stress on a daily basis. While a relationship is a partnership, one needs to appreciate that the partnership consists of two different people. The success of the relationship, therefore, depends on what each one of you brings to the table.
You cannot bring your best to the table when you are stressed out of your mind. As far as your relationship is concerned, look out for the following symptoms of stress:
  • You become easily irritated and start getting into unwarranted arguments
  • You start to have an unhealthy view of relationships in general
  • Your ability to communicate your feelings reduces as you can’t focus
  • You spend inordinate amounts of time distracting yourself with TV or social media
If you think your stress levels are unhealthy, you can talk with your partner about the situation so you start working yourself out of the rut. As with all things, being honest will get your further than you think. If your partner is the one who is stressed, encourage them to relax and give them the support they need to work through the problems they are facing.
Ultimately, you need to communicate to one another that you are still highly committed to one another and that this is a phase that will soon pass.

Remember Why You’re Together

One of the most important things couples can ask each other, and continue to ask throughout a relationship is what makes them compatible.
This question gets at the core of why you’re together in the first place. Think about this for awhile before you bring it up, and make sure you have some good things to say about the relationship or actionable steps to take it to the next level. 
Thinking about why you’re together will remind you why you’re together. Those feelings can come rushing back, and you’ll be stronger for considering them.

Sometimes All You Need Is an Escape

A change of scenery can do a lot to relieve most of the strains you are currently feeling. Traveling to an exotic destination gives you something akin to a fresh start. You also get to escape the physical reminders of the state your relationship is in at the moment.
Travel to a destination that will allow you to engage in a lot of fun activities with your partner. The more active you can be the better. One idea is heading to the Caribbean to get a bit of adventure and beach activities. Staying at an all-inclusive resort will also free you from tedious vacation plans as most of what you need will be included.
Just keep in mind that there are different kinds of all-inclusives. You want to go to one that is set up for couples, not a family all-inclusive. There’s a huge difference between the two. One is for romance, the other is for family bonding. 

Recommit to Romance

It is easier to act your way into feeling a certain way than to feel your way into acting a certain way. It’s a confusing sentence, but read it again, and let the message sink in.
In the same vein, when you constantly engage in romantic activities with your partner, your relationship will become even more romantic and the love you share with your partner will grow even stronger.
The easiest way to change the routine you’ve been in is to start initiating touch again. Touch is very powerful in a relationship. You don’t want to be so comfortable in your relationship that you start living as roommates. Besides love, the one thing that polishes a relationship and makes it shine is romance.
Studies have revealed that couples tend to reduce the amount of touching they engage in as their relationship matures. This is not the right way to go about it. Touching frequently and passionately increases the level of attraction you have for your partner, increases libido, and makes your body release feel-good endorphins that can strengthen the feelings of love you have for your partner. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Asking for help is probably one of the hardest things to do yet it might be one of the most important things you’ll ever do. We like to fancy ourselves independent but all of us need some shoulder to lean on from time to time.
While your partner may always be there for you, they cannot meet all your emotional needs. The same is true the other way round you cannot meet all your partner’s emotional needs.
Sharing your problems with other people besides your partner such as close friends, family members or a therapist will go a long way in helping you cope with the strains in your relationship.

Paying Yourself First

“Pay yourself first”

It is a phrase many of us have heard when it comes to managing our money and investing.  I often post on Quora and see people ask, “What should I invest in?” or “What does it mean to invest in myself?”  These are great questions, as many young people especially do not have the right answer.

Ways you can pay yourself first…

Contribute to an employer 401k and get the full company match. This has a two-fold purpose.  Firstly, you are never seeing the money that is taken out so you will not miss it.  Secondly, your employer match is FREE money and the easiest way to boost your return.

Establish a Roth IRA.  Most individuals are eligible to contribute to a Roth IRA.  If you are unsure, go to Roth IRA and see if you meet the criteria.  Even a small amount of $100 a month automatically withdrawn from your checking account is a great way to add an additional retirement vehicle for the future.

Read Books.  Lately I have been ordering books on Kindle like a mad man.  Many of the books I read are financial related and leverage others’ experiences.  The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley is one I highly recommend.  Austin Netzley’s Make Money, Live Wealthy is another great book that offers wonderful insight into his personal journey of wealth creation.  Austin does a great job of connecting with successful entrepreneurs and innovators throughout his book and illustrates their journey to success.

Your Health.  Investing in yourself isn’t just about money; it is also about being able to enjoy the life you live so that one day you can reap the rewards of all the hard work you have put in.  Start exercising if you don’t already.  They key is starting small.  Do the elliptical for 15 minutes 3 days a week.  Then bump it up to four.  Replace a candy bar with a piece of fruit.  You get the picture.  Investing in your health should be the first one listed in this post, but like many of us it often times is the last thing we think about.

There are many other ways that you can pay yourself first.  Vacations, nice meals out, etc.  When it comes to your finances and personal development, YOU are in control.  Don’t just talk about these things, put them into action and set yourself up for greater success.

Budget Smart, Invest Wise